I try not to be one of those people who gets offended at everything. I generally take jokes at face value and leave it at that. However, a pretty tasteless joke was shared by someone I looked up to and generally enjoyed the content of. I don’t really want to give them exposure for this sort of thing and I feel no ill will towards them. I’ll just say it was a stupid joke that implied that bisexuals are whores. It wasn’t even a funny joke. It was a lame pun that could have been used in private instead of being shared on social media.
It’d not really the joke that makes me upset though. It’s the trend of Biphobia and bi erasure that happens in both the LGTB and straight communities. Even though I consider myself Pansexual, this type of thing also includes me. It just seems like it’s considered a bad thing to feel attraction to more than one gender.
It’s been a place of hurt in my life to begin with. Before I knew what Pan even was, I considered myself bisexual. However, personal friends of mine wouldn’t get it. If I was attracted to a girl they would consider me gay, but if I was attracted to a boy I would be relabeled as straight. That’s not how it is though.
Currently, I am engaged to a wonderful man. I am not straight. He does not consider me straight. We check out other women together and disagree on what our individual type is, and he gets the hint when I’m not in the mood for that and leaves it be. However, I know there are people out there that would consider me straight. I don’t even hold my sexuality to a high regard in terms of my personality but it is there and I refuse to be labeled as something that is not true of me.
It’s these kinds of things that make people who are bi or pan feel alone. I have friends in the LGTB community but I don’t know how they all feel about this. One of them has even told me something along the lines of “you’re straight now, you’re fucking a guy.”
There’s also the phobias. A lot of people seem to think that if you feel attraction to more than one gender you are promiscuous. I don’t even know why. I don’t get it. I have had a grand total of three partners in my life. I consider that low compared to some people. Hell, it looks like that numbers not going to change anytime soon anyway.
I think it’s just a thing that a lot of bi and pan individuals have to deal with. Not all but plenty. So when someone who is a role model makes a joke it could bring up all these bad feelings.
I don’t have a solution. Except maybe understanding when your fan base gets upset and issue an actual apology instead of defending yourself. Asshole.