IMHO: Hating celebrities

One thing that annoys the shit out of me is when it is trendy to hate someone. It happened with Justin Bieber and now it seems like it’s Miley Cyrus. It’s really annoying. If you’re going to hate someone you should probably have a good reason for it. Maybe they’re racist or breaking the law. It shouldn’t be for showing lots of skin and not shaving their armpits. Yeah, I know; Miley Cyrus uses drugs and that is against the law. I tend to forget since I live in Washington where marijuana is legalized. Still, there are plenty of musicians that not only use drugs but make quite the living off of them.

I think the reason people pick on her so much is that she used to be a Disney star. At least she’s still doing something with her fame unlike the numerous child stars who fuck their lives up.

Anyway, I followed some clickbait article about the “superfan” who got Miley Cyrus tattooed 29 times on his body and then got hurt when she said they looked ugly. Looking at the tattoos they did. Portrait tattoos are hard to do right and these were sub par. However, the comments section was brutal.

“I think they show her as she is, an ugly human being.” Really? Is that so? I don’t understand why people think that she is? Is it the nudity? Drugs? Bad words? WHY? I don’t get it. Maybe it’s because I’m neither a fan or a hater. I don’t care for her music but that’s my business. However, I do get excited for the good things she does that come my direction; namely her charity work.

Honestly, a quick google search told me she has support 40 charities and foundations. From Homeless youth to Cystic Fibrosis. She was also named the second most charitable celebrity in 2012.

I think that’s a little bit more important than her antics on stage. It’s certainly a hell of a lot more important than slacktivism.

Links:

Clickbait Article: http://bit.ly/1SDQrkH

Charities: http://bit.ly/1IaiHrZ

Charitiable Celebrities: http://bit.ly/1Cp0rVH

Bad Words

So, I came across a link to an old article this morning discussing the word rape is used so lightly, specifically when used as a metaphor. Article Here It got me thinking about my views towards words and why they are considered bad or, at least, concerning.

Rape is not a bad word. People don’t tell you to watch your mouth when you say it but it does bring a sense of dread to people who have experienced it. Rape is a vile action. It can happen to anyone, regardless of the circumstances. It destroys lives; it breaks people. Why, then, are people using it so callously? “That rapes my eyes!” or “what they said was verbal rape,” are examples of this metaphorical use of the word rape. Have people just gotten complacent with it?

A quote from that article struck a cord with me: “Unfortunately, however, “rape” is all too handy a term for those of impoverished imaginations and limited vocabularies…” and I have to agree.

I am guilty of using edgy words in my younger days; hell, my much more recent days. I didn’t understand the real power of those words. They were words that were taboo and I wanted to make that impact. I wanted what I said to really hit people. I used the words “retard” and “fag” far too much in high school. I really didn’t have the class, character, or diction to call something or someone a much less offensive but probably more offensive fitting name.

I understand that someone people are completely against giving words any power and labeling them as bad. I get it. I agree when it comes to cursing. When has fuck, shit, or damn ever hurt anyone by itself?

However, the rebuttal to words like “retard”, “fag”, and rape is simple. It’s not the words that are bad. Words hold no power, but the emotions, memories, and intentions behind those words do. I’m not saying we should never say words like these but they have their time and place.

Rape should be reserved for discussions of literal rape and not metaphorical rape. As the author in the article pointed out, this is a dangerous thing to start. Who defines what rape is? Well, for me personally, rape is any physical action done against another being in a sexual nature that is done without the persons consent. That may not be satisfactory for everyone but that’s not my concern.

Words like these can become habit for some people. I know that, for some people, saying racist slurs may be as easy as saying shit for me. It just happens. Just like saying something was “retarded” used to be for me.

A few months ago I was mentioning to my fiance about my Diversity professor refusing to say “WOP” and spelling it out on the board, thus teaching me what it stood for. Being just the two of us, he eventually remarked we could say whatever we wanted to the other without either of us taking offense. While that was true, I retorted, I wouldn’t say a lot of these words because they could very easily slip out in an inappropriate time because I would be comfortable with them. It’s far too true; in my case, it’s better to never say the words out loud unless necessary because I might say it too much.

Why am I so afraid of offending someone? I know what it’s like to have a painful memory brought back up. It isn’t really offense, it’s pain. So, why would I want to inflict that on someone else?

IMHO: “10 Sexy Kissing Tips”

Oh, Stumbleupon! I’m not 14 anymore, stop it; no, seriously, stop it. I swear the weirdest shit pops up on that app. Including this article from getromantic.com. Oh, good lord.

Ok, I should preface. In My Humble Opinion (IMHO) is going to be a little fluff segment here from now on that has little to do with serious issues but is more about me letting my inner grump out. The internet is full of nonsense and I’m here to share my personal opinion. Now, back to this…. list. Good God.

I guess I shouldn’t be too harsh on this since these were ” submitted by our readers here at GetRomantic.com.” Fantastic.

The first tip is to “draw one of her arms above her head and lightly hold her hand.” That’s cute, I like that idea. Skin to skin contact; me gusta. Then…. kiss the inside of her upper arm. What? At first, I was confused. They couldn’t possibly mean that close to the armpit, right? Nope! “from her elbow down to her chest.” It goes on to suggest zigzagging your tongue down the same area.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I my pits either have deodorant on or I’m sweaty. Neither condition is one where I’d feel sexy if someone kissed/licked.

Sadly  This seems to be a theme throughout this article. There seems to be some weird, vague fetishism in between pieces of generally decent advice.

Number two is kind of weird but ultimately not concerning.

Number three was almost romantic until… ” If they seem to love this, then place the tip of that finger in their mouth.”

200_s

DON’T FINGER MY MOUTH! HOW DARE YOU!? JESUS CHRIST! DID YOU GO TO KINDERGARTEN? DON’T PUT YOUR FILTHY FINGERS IN OTHER PEOPLES MOUTHS!!!!

….I’d bite you fast it’d make your head spin.

…Anyway, number four is ok. I really don’t think slowly kissing your way to my mouth will “drive me crazy”; though thinking this in depth about a stupid romance article might.

Number five pretty much suggested that I lick wine off my fiances lips. No. First of all, he has beard. I really don’t want to have old wine in that thing. Secondly, liquids were not meant to be lapped off of other people. Just… ugh this stuff is gross, what’s wrong with you people!? I can barely stand sticking my tongue in my partners mouth, are you kidding?

I’ve been awake for 19 consecutive hours; forgive me if my patience is wearing thin.

I wish there was a way for me to convey how much I want to face palm this one. “Play a kissing game” No. NO. NO! WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS! Besides, what is the purpose of seeing who doesn’t kiss you on the lips the longest. If I didn’t kiss the hubby before he went to work each morning we’d probably go for days without kissing each other.

“Sensually whisper something a little bit naughty in their ear such as ‘I want you…’ or make up your own.”  “I want you…. to clean your half of the dishes…” “I want you…. to do this really hard part in Zelda for me…”  “I want you…. to dust. Seriously, you’re taller than I am and can reach behind the TV”
Could have written anything they wanted; wrote the most vague and cliche line ever.

Eight and nine are pretty tame and not all that interesting. Number ten just makes me crack up. Maybe it’s the insanity from critiquing this article but jesus christ.

“For each area, give them a quick kiss there, then whisper why you love that part. Move up and down their body sprinkling them with kisses and sweet words.” You know those trashy romance novels that you find scattered throughout Goodwill? The ones with weird relationships that have odd abusive standards? Yeah, I hate those; mainly because of this shit.

“I love your shin; it’s such an under represented part of the body. I love your calf; the subtle curvature makes drawing calves an art form in and of itself. I love you knee; you bends.” 

Here’s the real reason I’m trashing this article instead of dismissing it. It’s like being 13/14 all over again. “How do I even kiss boys?” You smash you face against theirs and hope for the best, kid. I swear. Unless you are causing the other person pain do what makes you feel good. Kissing isn’t magical, it’s just another bit of skin to skin contact that has gotten overly romanticized in our culture. Also, diseases.

I’m going to go sleep now. Forgive me if I was overly harsh or bitchy. Again 19 hours of awake times has made me a bit grumpy and this sounded like a good idea. I might do more of these. Let me know. If no one says anything I’ll take that as “keep doing it”. So, complain, you fucks! I need all the criticism!

Biphobia Isn’t Funny

I try not to be one of those people who gets offended at everything. I generally take jokes at face value and leave it at that. However, a pretty tasteless joke was shared by someone I looked up to and generally enjoyed the content of. I don’t really want to give them exposure for this sort of thing and I feel no ill will towards them. I’ll just say it was a stupid joke that implied that bisexuals are whores. It wasn’t even a funny joke. It was a lame pun that could have been used in private instead of being shared on social media.

It’d not really the joke that makes me upset though. It’s the trend of Biphobia and bi erasure that happens in both the LGTB and straight communities. Even though I consider myself Pansexual, this type of thing also includes me. It just seems like it’s considered a bad thing to feel attraction to more than one gender.

It’s been a place of hurt in my life to begin with. Before I knew what Pan even was, I considered myself bisexual. However, personal friends of mine wouldn’t get it. If I was attracted to a girl they would consider me gay, but if I was attracted to a boy I would be relabeled as straight. That’s not how it is though.

Currently, I am engaged to a wonderful man. I am not straight. He does not consider me straight. We check out other women together and disagree on what our individual type is, and he gets the hint when I’m not in the mood for that and leaves it be. However, I know there are people out there that would consider me straight. I don’t even hold my sexuality to a high regard in terms of my personality but it is there and I refuse to be labeled as something that is not true of me.

It’s these kinds of things that make people who are bi or pan feel alone. I have friends in the LGTB community but I don’t know how they all feel about this. One of them has even told me something along the lines of “you’re straight now, you’re fucking a guy.”

There’s also the phobias. A lot of people seem to think that if you feel attraction to more than one gender you are promiscuous. I don’t even know why. I don’t get it. I have had a grand total of three partners in my life. I consider that low compared to some people. Hell, it looks like that numbers not going to change anytime soon anyway.

I think it’s just a thing that a lot of bi and pan individuals have to deal with. Not all but plenty. So when someone who is a role model makes a joke it could bring up all these bad feelings.

I don’t have a solution. Except maybe understanding when your fan base gets upset and issue an actual apology instead of defending yourself. Asshole.

My Relations With Religion

Lately, I’ve really started to think about my religious experience and how so much has changed. This is where I would put some foreword telling you how I respect other people’s religion and such but that would make me a hypocrite. I will say I respect peoples choices and if they choose to believe in their religion that is their right. Just remember I share the same right and if you don’t like what I’m going to say you can piss off because this post is about my experiences. I really don’t care about how you found Jesus. I don’t care how much Buddha influences you life. I would like to have a selfish post, damn it.

Close to a year ago, I swore I would follow the pagan religion in a ceremony called a year and a day. This means that before March 27, 2014 I had studied the ideas and types of paganism and figured out if that was my path. I technically, didn’t need to do this since I am a lone wolf and have no need to join a coven. I have always found more solace finding inspiration and guidance by myself.

A lot of things have changed since then, including finding my significant other and coming clean to my family about a lot of things including my sexuality and my beliefs. I am eternally grateful that my family has been more than accepting of my path. However, my thinking has changed as well.

I noticed the other day while my beau was listening to the Amazing Atheist (I’m not a personal fan unless he’s talking calmly in a video) and it dawned on my that my views towards Christianity have vastly changed since my year and a day ritual.

I remember being a teenager and being fascinated by the occult and magic, among being incredibly naive and stupid. However, I always had fear in the back of my mind that told me that if I was wrong than I was going to hell. I was still holding onto the idea of one god and that being the Christian god. Now, I realized that I have no such fear.

In fact one closer inspection I find the whole idea of god and, somewhat gods in general, silly. The stories in the bible are incredibly far fetched and I find the whole thing ridiculous. I’ve also seen the crap I put up with from other Christians when I was younger in a new light. I feel like, in my experience, there was no way for me to be happy or to be accepted as a Christian.

Now, the people who know me well are saying, “How can you find the idea of a god silly when your Hellenic Pagan?” Well, it’s quite simple. I find the ancient Greek stories of gods and goddesses almost as silly. Almost since the ancient Greek gods have their faults and are not really good guys all the time. In fact they seem human. That’s much easier to choke down than some being that is purely good, created us all, and silently judges us based on our choices throughout life. There’s also the fact I am on the fence whether the gods of my religion really exist. A large part of me sees them more as representations of a set of ideals and morals that should be upheld, while still teaching us that everyone has flaws.

Well, I’m kind of drunk and don’t know how to end this so cheers!

Catcalling

I have been trying to avoid for the past week this bullshit but it’s caught up with me. I’ve finally watched that stupid fucking video of the woman walking around New York for ten hours.

Some of the comments and actions made in the video were offensive and aggressive but a lot of them weren’t. “Have a nice day” is something that shouldn’t be taken as a fucking come on.

As a woman, I have been catcalled. Truly catcalled, not this bullshit. I either told them to go fuck themselves or I completely ignored it.

For instance, I was in Seattle with a friend of mine waiting for a concert. We were looking at a map when a car stopped for a red light and a group of men whistled and howled at me. I avoided eye contact and focused on what I was doing. I knew the fucking light would turn and they would leave.

In another instance a group of teens got too close to me and catcalled while I was walking past. So, I kept walking and told them to fuck off. I, then, went into the nearest public building because I did feel threatened.

If I was told I “looked beautiful today” I would thank them and move along. It’s a fucking compliment: a polite compliment. If it was “you look hot” or “you look sexy” that crosses a line. Beautiful is how you describe anything that looks nice and shouldn’t be the cause of discomfort.

If someone tells me to have a nice day, I say “you too” and continue on my merry way.

Catcalling is a serious issue for a lot of women, but lets not cheapen it by including harmless phrases. Here’s a good rule, if it’s something they would say to their mother; you don’t get to be mad about it.

The Video in Question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A

Update 08.06.2014

Ok ok ok, I haven’t written a post in a while and I feel bad about it. So here’s what’s going on. I’ve been incredibly lazy. Then, there’s the fact I have to be slightly pissed about something to write about it. Sorry. I wish I could say that I’m going to write soon and all that but I won’t. I’m going to be working on a project for this blog and I have no idea how long it’s going to take.

 

I’m officially announcing that I’m going start work on a series that will be analyzing the stereotypes in Disney films.I hope to make a series a videos about whether or not modern critic of Disney princesses is valid by analyzing the arguments, films, original works, and time periods the films were made in. This will not be one video. I’m hoping to make a video for each princess and go from there chronologically from the first film to today. I said hopefully because this is a massive task. At the very least, if video editing is too arduous, I will write posts about them.

I am doing this for free. I might allow ads on the videos but even that’s iffy. I’m doing this for the same reason I write posts. I enjoy it. I have always liked research essays in school. I’m opinionated but I realize my opinion is not everyone’s opinion. The main thing is to put the arguments out there for people to read and make their own opinions about it.

So, I’ll keep you guys updated and work on this project. Thanks for reading.